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PSA for Canadian sellers regarding e-Transfers

TL;DR: Do not approve your work email address for Interac e-Transfer auto-deposits.

Recently, I enabled the new auto-deposit feature for e-Transfers sent to my personal email address. I regularly email money to myself between two separate bank accounts, and was tired of having to answer a security question to receive money from myself all the time, so it made sense. Luckily, because of this, I was able to see that enabling auto-deposit meant my full name was now being provided to the sender in the confirmation email. Previously, they only showed whatever nickname the sender assigned the recipient when adding them to their e-Transfer recipient list.

Below are two confirmation emails I received after sending myself two separate e-Transfers this month. The bottom one was before I enabled auto-deposits (yes, I nicknamed myself “my bad ass self”), and the top one was after I enabled auto-deposits.

On the account I received the e-transfer to, I set my “email nickname” to something other than my legal name as well. All that means now is that my “email nickname” is shown with my legal name beside it in brackets within the confirmation email itself.

The new auto-deposit feature is based on what email address you receive transfers to, so as long as you don’t accept auto-deposits to whatever email address you get buyers to send payments to, you’re okay. I’d be wary moving forward though, because if they’re not allowing the recipient to maintain privacy through e-Transfer auto-deposits, they may make a similar change to regular e-Transfers in the near future as well.

Net Neutrality and Online Sex Work

Let’s start by tackling a question I’m sure some of you are asking: What is Net Neutrality? Sure, it’s a hot button topic as of late, but that doesn’t mean everyone has a firm grasp on what it is, and what it means for people to have it. From Wikipedia:

Net neutrality is the principle that Internet service providers must treat all data on the Internet the same, and not discriminate or charge differently by user, content, website, platform, application, type of attached equipment, or method of communication. For instance, under these principles, internet service providers are unable to intentionally block, slow down or charge money for specific websites and online content.

Recently, the United States of America waved goodbye to net neutrality. While there is still a chance to save it, it is a very real threat to the country at large. With the end of net neutrality, we will see a rise in censorship, and a decline in access to online content and information. Check out the #netneutrality hashtag on Twitter to see just how angering this is.

What the end of net neutrality means for the independent online adult entertainment industry:

A significant drop in business for industry workers, and a significant drop in content quality and availability for buyers.

Small businesses, including independent online adult entertainers, can’t afford to pay the inevitable fees Internet Service Providers will charge to not throttle buyers’ connections when they visit our sites. Depending on the stance of certain ISPs, we may even be outright blocked from being accessed by our clients. With shitty connections deterring some buyers, and blocks keeping us hidden from others, we may very well need to leave our businesses behind for new careers in order to survive.

I am editing this post to include the info/links provided by /u/mailmygovNNBot on Reddit below:

Write to your Government Representatives about Net neutrality
(The brand new) MailMyGov was founded on the idea that a real letter is more effective then a cookie cutter email. MailMyGov lets you send real physical letters to your government reps. We can help you find all your leaders:
• federal (White house, House of Representatives, Supreme Court, FCC & more)
• state (U.S. Senate, Governors, Treasurers, Attorney General, Controllers & more)
• county (Sheriffs, Assessors, District Attorney & more)
• and city representatives (Mayors, City Council & more)
…using just your address and send a real snail mail letter without leaving your browser.
https://www.mailmygov.com

Other things you can do to help:
You can visit these sites to obtain information on issues currently being debated in the United States:
https://votesmart.org/
https://www.govtrack.us/
https://www.aclu.org/
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov
• (suggest more sites here? msg this bot please with un-biased, non-partisan factual sources only!)
• Donate to political advocacy
Set up your favorite political activist orgs as you charity on Amazon Smile

Other websites that help to find your government representatives:
http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/
https://whoaremyrepresentatives.org/
https://www.govtrack.us/
https://resistbot.io/
https://democracy.io/#!/ (will send an email on your behalf to your senators.)
https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials
https://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm?OrderBy=state
Most importantly, PLEASE MAKE AN INFORMED VOTE DURING YOUR NEXT ELECTION.

Adult Work Questions & Answers from my Reddit AMA – Part 2

Click here to watch/read part 1

Part two in a three part series! If you want to read the full AMA, including the responses of the other wonderful ladies I was answering questions with, click here.

12. My question is about kik or Skype sessions that you do. What percentage of your customers turn on their cam or send video to you, as opposed to those who just watch you more passively? Do you have a preference?

I do Kik and cam, and if I had to guess I’d say maybe 1/4 of Kik guys send pics/vids (typically slaves showing me they’ve successfully done as they’re told) and maybe 1/2 of my Skype sessions also involve the other person’s cam being on, often for the same reason.

I actually prefer being able to see them. It’s easier to give a more real/natural response to seeing them do something vs just going along with them telling me they did it. I tend not to believe them as easily if they don’t show me. =P

13. Any surprising or unexpected thing you’ve learned about yourself while creating content?

Being a bitchy Domme is extremely therapeutic. When I’m having a bad day, I love ripping into my subs. Funny enough, I have zero interest in doing so in real life, though. At all. I prefer “real men” in real life, so to speak. ;)

14. Related, anything you weren’t sure about at first, but turned out to enjoy yourself?

Most “character” role plays (naughty nurse, girl next door, etc). I always thought they were super cheesy, but if you get the right partner, they can be so much fun! I’ve had some amazingly hot role play sessions. I’ve had a few duds too, but I think it’s fair to say that no performer will ever genuinely click with every client.

15. Have you made anything that you personally think is your ‘Mona Lisa’, or does the personalized nature of much of content prevent that? I guess in other words any content that really sticks out as being something that you really nailed?

I have a handful of videos I’m really proud of. Sweet Domme, Extreme Tasks is probably one of my favorites. It was just so filthy and awesome. I also recently did a camshow role play where the guy was a rapist I drugged, tied up and castrated. I got really into the role and it was super adrenalizing.

16. Favorite toy in your arsenal?

Definitely my strapon. I love making men whimper for me.

17. How would you all answer to the negative things people say about sex industry workers? Ie, they dont respect themselves, dont they have morals etc.

I just wouldn’t. More often than not, you cannot change people’s minds, and I have better things to do than talk to a brick wall. I know I respect myself, I know I have morals, and I know I love my job. If anyone is willing to make such a bold, negative assumption about me based on… What, really? They’re probably not someone I want to bother engaging with.

18. What is your ROI (Return On Investment) on your adult industry jobs? Do you feel that you make a reasonable wage for the amount of time you put into it?

I’m very happy with my ROI, though I won’t get into numbers. I’ve set myself up in such a way that I make a lot of passive income, which covers the time I spent tweaking my website, posting on social media, taking/editing promo content, etc.

19. How has being in the adult industry changed your life (Lifestyle, personality, confidence, happiness, etc.)?

Working in this industry has affected me in a number of ways – More than I can even start to think/count. Here are the main things that come to mind, though:

It’s been a life saver for me. I’ve never really been secretive about the fact that I suffer from chronic depression, and if this were a “typical” job, I would not have lasted in it as long as I have. My job allows me to be self-sufficient while still being able to take time off as needed. I never have to worry about not having a job to go back to after depressive episodes, and going back to work actually helps pull me out of it sometimes too.

I’m much more “no bullshit” than I used to be. Standing up for myself used to be an awkward and sometimes pathetic affair, but I’ve grown a thick skin and have no problem putting my foot down when someone’s behaving disrespectfully or inappropriately.

It’s expanded my mind, sexually. I’ve always been fascinated by human sexuality and the things I’ve learned have been very eye-opening. I have discovered a personal interest in things I never even knew existed previously, and even when I come across something I’m not personally into, I still find myself intrigued and often spend time researching kinks I come across just out of curiosity.

20. I have a two part question I’ve always been curious about: how hard is it to act out a POV scene for your videos, and how much of it is improvised vs scripted? All the kudos in the world to you three (especially Faith, who if I may say so is a fantastic actress).

(Sorry, I know that last bit isn’t part of the question, but come on, everyone likes having their ego stroked sometimes…)

I find the POV stuff isn’t too difficult to act out. Just have to get into the right headspace! The tricky part is when some requests require a very specific camera angle (I’m talking, they send me links to other porn as an example) that is difficult to get right without a cameraman.

As for improvisation vs scripting, I actually offer multiple video packages based, in part, on how much of a script is involved. Heavily scripted videos require a lot more work since I spend time memorizing them beforehand. Winging it is definitely easier, but I always at least write down point-form notes first so I have an idea of how the video will go.

21. I’d like a female perspective, I’m 25 and I’m in school finishing my undergrad. I still live at home since I’m still a student and I can’t move out at the moment. Would you girls be turned off if a guy still lived at home? Thanks!

It really depends on the reason for the living situation.

If you’re either in a program that doesn’t realistically give you time to work, or you’re working on the side and contributing where you can at home (buying your own food, paying for your own transportation, phone bill etc) then I think it’s perfectly understandable and not a turn-off. I also have a friend who worked full-time while living at home, contributed while living there and socked away enough money to buy a house without ever renting in between, which was a smart financial move since renting is a sunken cost. I would have done the same as him if I thought it was an option, but I find I get along much better with my family when we don’t live together.

If you were an unemployed part-time student whose mom still did your laundry while you took no responsibility for yourself, I’d definitely find that to be unappealing.

22. Cats or dogs???

I’ve got two cats and I love them. <3 I'm not anti-dog, though.

Stay tuned for part 3!

Guide to using a VPN

I didn’t make this myself, but I thought it would be useful to those of you who haven’t set up a VPN for your online work. vpn

Adult Work Questions & Answers from my Reddit AMA – Part 1

Part one in a three part series! If you want to read the full AMA, including the responses of the other wonderful ladies I was answering questions with, click here.
1. What makes someone a great buyer of your services? How do you want a buyer to behave and interact with you in order to have the best possible experience as a seller?

I only have a few requirements, but they make a huge difference.

– Read the provided info prior to contacting me. Sure, it may seem like a lot of information, but I can guarantee it will be faster for you to read it through than to ask me twenty questions that are already answered on my website, in my subreddit, on my profile, etc. That info is there for a reason.

– Know what you want before contacting me. So much time gets lost when guys hum and haw about whether or not they want the video to be 10 or 15 minutes, whether or not they want to pay extra for me to include body oil, etc. Alternately, if you’re unsure of something, being upfront and asking first saves us both time in the long run. Don’t wait until the last minute to be like, “Oh, by the way, do you do xyz?” and then cancel the whole order when I say no.

– Don’t haggle. Don’t barter. Don’t whine about my rates. If you can’t afford me, save up or go find someone whose prices are in your budget. The value of my time is not dictated by the size of your wallet. I’d never walk into Guess and beg them to sell me a $150 dress for $25.

What it all comes down to is being respectful and concise. That’s all it takes to be a great buyer.

2. What drove your decision to put yourself out there so your fans could see 100% of you….and the feeling you went through (if any) to make that decision?

I started doing alt/nude/fetish modeling (small-time) before I ever got into camming, so the idea of not showing face never even really occurred to me when I first started. I also started on camsites before ever getting into selling on Reddit, and most camsites require face to be shown.

I don’t regret showing face. I know that my plans/goals for the future will not be affected by my work, and I have no shame in what I do, so I feel no reason to hide. I understand there are safety issues to consider, but if someone is unwilling to take that risk, I firmly believe they should not be in this industry at all. Even those who don’t show face can be found. I completely respect the choice of sellers who do not show face, though. They’re accepting of the risks while still taking as many precautions as possible, which is fair.

3. What’s the worst thing about working in adult entertainment?

Probably the entitlement of some people who want/expect our time for free. It can be really exhausting sometimes, being treated like we owe someone a piece of ourselves simply because they want it. I offer a lot of free content as means of self-promotion, but everything I share for free is posted at my own discretion. For some people, that’s not good enough.

Stereotypes are a close second. I don’t do drugs, I have good self-esteem, and I genuinely enjoy my work. It’s not an act of desperation, lack of self-worth, or anything like that, but there are people out there who treat me like I need rescuing. Apparently the advice of turning what you love into a career doesn’t apply when what you love is sexual in any way, shape or form.

4. do you find that most girls get burned out after a few months?

I don’t really pay enough attention to other sellers to make an accurate observation, but I have no doubt that it happens. I’ve burnt myself out before and had to take a break to refresh.

5. Curious about the responses you got from friends/family (and maybe more specifically partners)? Assuming they (or some) know about you doing this kind of work.

This was actually discussed among sellers a few days before the AMA, so I just copied and pasted my answer from there.

I’m pretty much completely out and have always showed full face. My friends and family know, with the exception of some semi-conservative aunts/uncles/grandparents that I’m not particularly close to.

My mom took a while to adjust to what I do. She never judged me for it, but worried that I was doing it for the wrong reasons (I deal with severe depression) and just wanted me to be okay. It took about a year for her to really realize that this job is a positive for me. Now she loves hearing funny stories from work and has actually offered ideas for a couple projects I’ve told her I was working on. She gave me an idea for a slave task once, and more recently suggested I rub myself down with body oil before covering myself with chocolate sauce and whipped cream for a W&M custom vid because the sauces would slip around more that way.

I was actually quite impressed with how my dad handled it when I told him. We’ve had a rocky past but I know how much he loves/cares for me and I definitely expected a much more aggressively protective response. We were talking on the phone one night when I decided to tell him I was getting a boob job. He humorously said, “As long as you’re not going to be a stripper!” and I said, “Welll…….. I actually did that already, and now I’m doing something similar online.” He was shocked, I’m sure, but now he just checks in to make sure I’m handling my earnings responsibly. Other than his initial shock, he doesn’t seem to have much of an opinion on what I do.

I don’t remember how I told anyone else in my family, but no one’s reacted badly. One uncle I am close to is even my accountant.

I’ve received varying responses from friends and acquaintances over the years. Most were curious about the work and asked some questions but never treated me differently. A rare few definitely objectified me fairly blatantly upon finding out what I do. I put them in their place pretty quickly. Some apologized and we moved on. Most just kind of gave up on being around me, which I didn’t mind since I’m not interested in friendships that are conditional on my willingness to be sexually involved with them. I do have some friends who have also purchased shows/videos from me. They’ve never tried to get freebies or discounts, and I’m grateful for that.

The biggest difference I noticed was when meeting new people. Most guys I meet at bars or social outings/events seem to flip some internal switch when I tell them what I do, as if I somehow transform from an interesting person to nothing but a conquest. It’s a good bullshit filter in that regard. I occasionally lie to new people about what I do if I think they wouldn’t be comfortable with it, mostly in order to avoid the awkward conversation. I’m not really concerned about whether or not people look down on me for what I do; I just have better things to do than listen to their shitty opinions.

When it comes to romantic relationships, I did have one bad experience with an ex, but I chalk a lot of it up to his own mental health issues. He bragged about my job a lot to his friends when we first started dating (I became really close with his friends and they later told me everything), to the point where it made them uncomfortable because they felt like he didn’t value anything else about me. They also knew nothing else about me until they met me because he just didn’t tell them about anything else. Throughout our relationship, he struggled with jealousy and was very nitpicky about how I talked about work. If I mentioned a show I did, he wanted me to say “he paid for x” instead of “we did x”. When I finally ended the relationship, he slut-shamed me all over Facebook for my work, calling me filthy, disgusting, etc. My other partners have never really cared. One of them I made a few vids with.

All things considered, I’m happy I came out. I don’t believe I have anything to be ashamed of, and want my life choices to reflect that. I also intend on being self-employed for the rest of my life and have other independent business projects either in the works or planned out for the future, so I’m not concerned about how this will affect my future career-wise.

6. Do you do sexual things in real life you don’t do online?

Absolutely! I find my sexual interests to be very contextual – There are a plethora of things that appeal to me online that I have no interest in being part of in real life, and vice-versa. Nothing is ever faked on either side, though.

7. What is your feeling on legal sex sales in the United States? I personally feel by making it illegal your making the problems worse then better. Would you like to see sex and sexual services be legal for sale? Do you have any thoughts on how it would make your life better?

I’m in Canada, but I’ll still toss in my two cents!

I believe very much that making sex work legal would make it easier to regulate and thus easier to keep safe. I don’t personally offer any services in person, and online sex work is legal (I pay taxes and everything) so legalizing sex work wouldn’t affect me personally, but I think people have the right to do with their own bodies as they wish, and they have the right to have a safe manner in which to do it.

8. What level of interaction do you prefer from buyers (outside of any sessions)? And related to that: What would definitely NOT be okay to say/ask?

Generally speaking, I prefer to keep interaction outside of sessions fairly professional. If someone publicly compliments me on something I’ve posted, that’s excellent, but if they want to chat I prefer that they consider a Girlfriend Experience.

Having said that, I do have a very small handful of regulars who I often chat with outside of sessions. I enjoy their company and feel they have more than earned a few extra minutes here and there for their loyalty and respect. These people never ask for my time for free, though. Anyone who asks for it tends to never become someone who gets it.

A lot of guys ask if I’ll make videos with them, which is super annoying. Not only do I only do solo content, if I were ever to consider doing content with other people again (did it once with an ex) it would not be with some complete stranger from the internet. I have plenty of close friends I would rather work with if I ever decided to go that route.

9. What are some common misconceptions about the adult industry that you would like Reddit and or the general public to know about?

Two things come to mind immediately, but there are dozens more floating around in my sleepy brain right now.
Being in this industry is not always (rarely, even) the result of “daddy issues”, desperation, drug use, or low self-esteem.
Being in this industry is not typically fast or easy cash (though it can be, somedays). It is time-consuming, and it is hard work.

10. Do you have any regrets from when you first started, or something you wished you would have done differently?

I preach this all the time, but research research research. I got ripped off on LiveJasmin when I was new because I had no clue that fake tipping was a thing. Also, don’t feed the trolls! They thrive on your attention, anger, discomfort, fear, etc. If someone is trying to get a rise out of you, block, ignore, report, take a break, whatever – But don’t engage.

11. Is selling services on Reddit/online your primary jobs, or do you all have a full time job you do? And how do you respond to people who ask you what you do for a living?

This has been my full-time job for almost 5 years. It started as just camming on one live streaming site and has steadily expanded overtime. I now offer so many services beyond live streaming sites that I only do two “shifts” per week, making most of my money with pre-booked sessions and custom video content.

More often than not, I’m honest about what I do for a living. I’ve received more favorable reactions than not, though it can irk me when a guy’s perspective of me very obviously shifts from “cool person” to “conquest” when I tell them this is my job.

Occasionally I just tell people I run a small jewelry making business from home, but that’s only when I feel like telling the truth would not be beneficial. Some people are more conservative and I try to respect the fact that mentioning my actual job may make them uncomfortable (or inspire them to preach things I don’t really care to hear).

I’ll be putting together two more videos/Q&A sets from the Reddit AMA, so stay tuned!

Becoming an Adult Services Seller on Reddit

Looking into selling Skype shows, panties, videos, Kik sessions and more on Reddit? I recently made a video to help get you started! If you’re more of a reader than a watcher, you can also find all the info you need under the video in this blog post.

First: What is Reddit?

Reddit is a giant forum website, self-titled “The front page of the internet”. It consists of what we call subreddits (or subs for short), which are individual forums that each have their own theme or purpose. For example, /r/cats is about cats. There, you can talk about and post pictures of, well, cats. If you go to /r/WTF, you will be able to view and submit things that make people go, “What the fuck?!”

Each sub has their own team of moderators (mods) dedicated to keeping things running smoothly. Lucky for us, there are also subreddits made for adult industry buyers and sellers to seek and offer anything from videos to Skype shows to Kik sessions to dirty socks. More on that later, though!

When working towards becoming a seller/performer on Reddit, there are two things you need to be mindful of: It takes time, and it takes effort.

I cannot stress these things enough. I’ve seen a lot of people shoot themselves in the foot trying to rush into selling without taking the time to learn anything about it. Don’t do that! Selling on Reddit is actually relatively easy – you just need to do the ground work. With that in mind, here are some basic first steps you can take on your way to becoming a seller on Reddit!

1. JOIN WWW.REDDIT.COM

Make an account with the username you wish to use as a seller, and use it. Then, learn how Reddit works. Seriously.

Follow subreddits for things that interest you outside of selling. There’s a subreddit for everything, from makeup to rock climbing to cooking to your favorite TV shows. You’re bound to find at least a few that you like! You can even browse the default subreddits that Reddit automatically subscribes you to when you join.

The point here is for you to get familiar with the website as a whole. Not only does it make you look better if you know how to properly navigate the site, but it makes the lives of the selling subreddit moderators and buyers much easier when you start dealing with them.

As you start browsing, commenting and posting on Reddit, please be mindful of what kind of information you share. If you don’t want people to know where you live, I recommend not subscribing to or posting in location-specific subreddits (eg. a sub for your city). Your post history is publicly visible (private messages are not), so don’t post anything you’re not comfortable with potential buyers seeing.

Learning how to use Reddit also means learning how to use Imgur, since it’s one of the main methods people use to post pictures to Reddit. Reddit has also introduced their own image hosting system, though I’m not sure if it’s available to everyone yet. If you want to make and host gifs (animated images), check out Gfycat.

2. USE THE PROVIDED RESOURCES.

A couple great subreddits for you to check out are /r/SellerCircleStage, which is public, and /r/SellerCircle, a private sub you can request access to once you become a seller.

/r/SellerCircleStage includes a fantastic Wiki, written completely by sellers. It is a VERY useful resource that I highly encourage you to take advantage of. Seasoned sellers dedicate a lot of time and energy to filling the subs’ wiki pages with relevant information, and we’re also very diligent in answering valid questions posted to our subreddits.

With that in mind, If you can’t find the answer to your question in our wiki, please use the Reddit search function to see if your question has been asked/answered before. If by chance you absolutely cannot find the answer to your question in both the Wiki and the subs’ post history, you’re welcome to make a post asking fellow sellers for help.

3. GET YOUR NAME OUT THERE.

This step can be done at any time once you’ve familiarized yourself with Reddit, really. Some people start doing this before they become verified sellers. Some people don’t do this at all. It’s more of an optional thing, though many of us find it provides a great boost in business.

The way to get your name out there is by posting teasers in non-selling adult subs. For example, if you have a fantastic ass, you may consider posting in the allaboutbutts subreddit. If you are a girl who wears glasses, perhaps you’d consider posting in girlswithglasses. There are a ton of adult subreddits out there catering to tons of body types, kinks and niches.

The trick here is that you are not posting in these subs to sell – So don’t bother listing prices or even mentioning that you are or plan to be a seller. They are meant to promote your work, though, and can still bring you business:

Say someone sees your picture in one of these non-selling subs and PMs you to say, “Oh my god, you’re so beautiful! Can we chat?” THAT’S when you say, “Well, hey, I’d be happy to! Why don’t we set up a Skype/Kik session?”

Of course, not everyone who messages you will be looking to spend money. That’s the nature of the beast, though. If they say no thanks to a paid session, just say no problem and wish them well.

4. GET VERIFIED IN SELLING SUBREDDITS.

Now that you’re familiar with Reddit, have built up your post history and done some preliminary research, it’s time to verify yourself on some selling subreddits. This means you need to prove to the subreddit moderators that you are who you claim to be. We do this to minimize the risk of letting in fakes who are just out to take people’s money and run.

Each subreddit has their own verification requirements, many of which involve your account being of a certain age. Remember when I said this takes time? No sense trying to rush. Luckily, the time you’ve spent following steps one, two and three should be more than enough to keep you occupied until you’re ready to verify.

Before you verify, read the subreddits’ rules. So many people get turned away during the verification process simply because they didn’t bother finding out what the sub’s requirements were for verifying. Some new sellers and performers later get kicked out of subreddits that they have been verified in for making posts that do not adhere to sub posting rules.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!

Mistakes happen sometimes, sure. Maybe you accidentally forgot a required piece of information in your post. Maybe you got your subreddits mixed up and accidentally advertised Skype Shows in the sexting subreddit. I don’t know of any subreddit that will automatically ban a seller for a small, one time mistake – But if you get banned, that means you were repeatedly breaking rules and repeatedly being given warnings that you chose to do nothing about. I have no sympathy for people like that.

5. BUILD YOUR OWN SUBREDDIT

This is another optional step which can be done at any time once you meet Reddit’s minimum requirements. Your own subreddit is a great place to share your free content, keep fans and clients in the know about your schedule, provide information on all of your services in one place, etc. If you want an example, my subreddit is www/reddit.com/r/alittlekink. Feel free to check it out!

I hope you find this info useful! Go to my Camspace page for more info and resources on working in the online adult entertainment industry! xo

My Value as an Adult Entertainer

Today, I had the following conversation with a “fan”:

I honestly believe many people like this don’t realize how offensive they’re being. It’s not the first time I’ve been treated this way, and it won’t be the last. What we need to do is educate these people. Here are my thoughts on how people view my value as a member of the adult entertainment industry:

Remember: The value of my time is not dictated by how much clothing I wear or how hard your dick is.

Blackmail vs. Blackmail Fantasy

I feel like this is a topic that time and time again I have had to explain to prospective clients who are seeking a blackmail experience, as well as new camgirls/Dommes who are learning about providing such a service. It’s a very simple road to navigate as long as it is done properly, but too often I see people putting themselves at risk for the sake of the thrill.

Blackmail fantasy is a very popular form of domination that I engage in on a regular basis. It is a situation in which an individual willingly provides me with personal photos or information which I then “threaten” to expose/use against them if they do not pay me/fuck themselves in the ass/send more compromising photos, etc. The specifics of each situation are tailored to the desires of the individual requesting such a session. Some people get off on the thrill of having compromising photos posted on Twitter, which are only removed once they complete a humiliating task. Others may want to be “forced” to provide a weekly tribute, with the promise that I will email their secrets to their wife or boss if they miss a payment.

The important thing to note here is that everything I do that relates to blackmail is done consensually, as part of the other person’s fantasy – Hence the term blackmail fantasy, which separates it from actual blackmail. It is essentially a form of role play – And just like any safe, consensual role play, if at any time during the fantasy the safe word gets used, the session stops. I would never truly force anyone to provide a weekly tribute, nor would I actually email anything compromising to anyone in their life. True subs follow through with their tasks and tributes out of their desire to keep the fantasy alive. The fun is in acting like I’m in charge, but truly, anything provided to me (gifts, money, information) is provided willingly, and anything compromising (secrets, pics) is kept only for reference in future sessions (“Remember when you told me about ______ last week? Imagine what would happen if I told your wife…”).

Unfortunately, choosing the safe and responsible route can come at a price for Dommes such as myself. On more than one occasion, I have had blackmail slaves and finsubs turn me away as a prospective Domme due to my use of the term “fantasy” in reference to blackmail sessions. They claim to only want the “real deal”. This is an issue for multiple reasons:

1. Chances are, if you’re asking for it, it’s not real. The whole concept of real blackmail does not involve asking to have it done to you, nor does it involve your consent or ability to stop it in any way whatsoever. This doesn’t mean it can’t turn into something real, though. I have seen the aftermath of individuals who adamantly claimed they wanted their lives to be completely destroyed by blackmail connecting with people who had no issue in actually doing so. I have never once seen the individual who asked for it not end up regretting the fact that things went that far, though. What most people seem to want is to call it real, while still actually having it be a fantasy, since calling it a fantasy can, for many, ruin the vibe. You know what, though? That’s kind of too bad, considering…

2. Real blackmail is illegal, and engaging in a blackmail session without proof that it has been acknowledged as a fantasy only by both parties leaves us liable. Anyone who offers “genuine” blackmail sessions puts themselves at risk for a lawsuit simply by stating that it is something they’ll do. After all, claiming to offer actual blackmail is admitting to a major felony. It is important for those of us “blackmailing” the individuals who ask us to do so to make it clear that it is a fantasy for this reason. No one wants to get slapped with a lawsuit because the person they “blackmailed” decided they later regretted the experience and wanted to shift the blame to the person they asked to do it.

I understand that when it comes to many fetishes, a need to intensify overtime is common. You become desensitized, so you dive into something a little crazier, or a little more dangerous. However, that does not mean you should ever expect a proper Domme to risk their own personal safety and reputation for your fetish.

To combat the fact that handling blackmail fantasies responsibly can “dull” things, I tend to work through all of the legal precautions – Proof of consent, boundaries & limitations, safe word, etc. – prior to/separately from the role play itself. Yes, I get it – It still doesn’t sound as sexy as simply diving into things and forcing someone to hand over their money/freedom/secrets etc., but as least it creates a barrier between the responsibilities of both parties to handle the fantasy in a manner that will not result in any unwanted emotional/physical/legal repercussions, and the time spent enjoying the fantasy.

Blackmail fantasy is an easy road to navigate, as long as it’s done right. Never sacrifice your safety for the thrill – It’s not worth it.

Gift Card Fees

It has been brought to my attention, both through personal experiences and through the shared stories of other sellers, that gift card fees are something that some buyers are struggling to understand, accept, and in some cases, respect.

I would like to take a moment to try to explain things so that perhaps this can stop being an issue. Please note that this is intended to educate and inform – not insult.

Convenience has a pricetag – Often because your convenience comes at someone else’s cost. When you realize you need cash, and the ATM down the street is closer to you than your bank machine, you pay an ATM fee for the convenience – Or, you forego the convenience and its fee to go further away to get your money. When you do pay the fee, it helps pay for the machine, its maintenance, and the time people dedicate to filling it, fixing it, and making it available for you to use. Contrary to the popular and rather self-righteous phrase, you are not simply “buying your own money”. You are paying for the convenience of being able to access it outside of your bank’s locations.

Convenience is not a right, it is a luxury, and it is one that comes at a price – A price most people are willing to pay without complaint, since they know that without that cost, the convenience would not exist.

Amazon and other gift cards are a convenient form of payment in this industry – They’re fast, they’re easy to send, and if you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re buying adult services by avoiding charges to the credit card you share with your wife, they’re also a safe option (especially when purchasing through gyft.com with your PayPal account).

This is all fine and dandy, and many of us are happy to offer such a convenience to you. What we would like is for you to understand that by offering this to you, it is coming at a cost to us, and for many of us, it is not a cost worth bearing, which is why we require additional compensation. After all, our prices are based on the value of our work – So if we’re not receiving what our prices reflect at the end of the day due to the cost that your convenience comes at, then we’re kind of ripping ourselves off.

The fact that we accept gift cards at all is something I feel a lot of people take for granted – After all, how would you feel if your job paid you in gift cards? I doubt anyone would prefer that over cash.

There are a few reasons that I personally charge a fee for gift cards, and while I am speaking for myself here, I can assure you that I am not the only one who feels this way.

Gift cards do not have an exact cash value. Just because you give someone a $50 gift card, doesn’t mean you’re giving them $50. You’re paying $50, but at the end of the day, the person on the other end is not always receiving that amount. Here’s a couple reasons why:

– When we have to decide between spending a gift card or spending cash on an item, the gift card will often win, since cash is reserved for things that gift cards cannot pay for, such as bills and groceries. That means that we are stuck paying shipping on something that we perhaps would have purchased in-store, had we had all cash and no gift cards at all. Perhaps we would have used the cash to pay for the same item on a different website (that we may not be able to accept gift cards for) for a lower price. This is especially a problem for international sellers. As a Canadian who primarily receives Amazon.com gift cards, the shipping fees I often face are brutal. Even when I receive Amazon.ca gift cards, shipping still sucks unless the item is covered by Amazon Prime (which is something I never would have paid for if it hadn’t been for the fact that I accept gift cards). Because of the limitations gift cards place on our ability to spend them, we lose a chunk of our earnings on otherwise avoidable costs, as well as the freedom to spend those earnings freely – For your convenience.

– When cash is needed, we trade our gift cards for Bitcoin, Squarecash, Giftrocket, E-transfers, etc. This is not something we receive exact cash value for. In order for it to be worth it for someone to take our gift cards, they’ve got to get a deal on it – Which means money out of our pocket. The money we lose by converting gift cards to cash, combined with the additional time we spend arranging those transactions, means a big loss for us – For your convenience.

Many of you might say, “Then don’t accept gift cards!”. Sure. We’ve done that. But many of us have lost more sales by not accepting gift cards at all, than we have by charging a fee – And many of you have chosen only to pay with gift cards, which means that if we don’t accept them, you’ve got a much smaller selection of people to play with and purchase from.

If you insist on paying via gift card, please check to see if there is a fee prior to discussing your transaction with a seller, and be ready to accept the fact that there likely will be one. Most of us are very upfront about our fees, and often have them mentioned on our websites, in our ads, and on our subreddits. If you can’t find the information listed anywhere, ask about it before diving into the details of your request. This saves both of us from wasting time by discussing all of the nitty gritty, only for you to back out the moment the total is calculated.

If you cannot find a seller you like who doesn’t charge a gift card fee, and the fee is still totally unacceptable to you, please consider using other payment methods. Bitcoin is a huge favourite for many sellers, and once the initial set-up has been completed, is extremely simple to use. It is also a very fast and secure payment method that allows you to connect to a credit card OR bank account. This payment method allows the same convenience and ease as gift cards, is internationally usable, and does not come at a cost to the person you’re paying. Bitcoin may charge for the transaction, but that cost is typically $1 or less.

If a seller charges a fee for gift cards, please understand that it is for a reason. Asking a seller to waive the fee simply because you do not like it, essentially says “I want you to pay for my convenience”, whether that is your intention or not. Insisting on using a gift card while refusing to pay a fee shows a lack of respect for the value of our time. If you do not want to pay a fee, find sellers that don’t charge them, and use payment methods that do not require them.

For more information on payment methods that I personally accept, please check out my Payment Options page. I have written up short descriptions of each available payment method, and have provided useful links for you to follow, should you choose to learn more about them.